For some people it may be ironic or oxymoronic that I would purposely love others in order to make myself feel better. But, sadly, that’s the way it works. To prove that loving others makes you feel better, imagine how you would feel if your whole life you did nothing but help yourself, never showing love for strangers, only loving your own material gain, and then, just when you least deserved it, just when at an unexpected moment for the first time in your life you felt like you needed love, needed help from someone else, someone gave it to you. When you knew yourself that all you deserved was sorrow, someone went out of their way to help you. How would that make you feel?
I don’t know about you but feeling that unconditional love, for me, would probably be a breaking down moment and I would cry and repent my life’s ways.
What, you might ask, is the difference between unconditional love and regular, spousal love? Let me answer that for you.
- Unconditional love relies on no conditions to come forth into the world. Unconditional love asks for no rewards, asks for nothing in return. It is not the kind of love one lover gives to another, but the kind of love a righteous saint might give to his worst enemies. It’s the love you feel for nature, for other people’s children, for strangers you wish to help. Without unconditional love, having a kind conversation about the weather with a stranger might be hard, and it wouldn’t be sincere. On the other hand, with unconditional love swelling in your bosom, it’s so hard to get mad over tiny things, and so easy to forgive someone for what they did wrong. In other words, it could be called universal love.
- Regular, spousal love relies on conditions. You wouldn’t fall in love with someone if they promised to make your life a living hell. You fall in love with someone romantically because they’re there for you emotionally and there’re things about them you love, things other people don’t have, like similar interests, kindness of heart, a desire for children. Falling in love with someone you plan to spend your life with is very different than experience unconditional love for all life, but with that said we can never forget that, though these two kinds of love are different, they are both love. Without categories, love, in general, is a supremely powerful force that grips us to this world, makes us want to see more of it, no matter what kind of love it is.
How can you have more unconditional love in your life?
One way I try to stay connected with universal love is always staying open to opportunities to help and compliment others. A compliment can last a life time, especially if it’s from a stranger. Also, helping people when they least expect and deserve it can conjure all kinds of positive, deep feelings from within and you’ll more often than not find that the universe always finds a way to pay you back in full for your outbound love.
Another way to have more unconditional love flowing through your heart everyday is to practice empathy, which I’ve written a whole post about if you feel like learning more. For now though I’ll tell you that practicing empathy has allowed me to feel love for the kind of people I never used to be able to, like criminals and people who are rude to me. I try to see their situation from their own shoes and often I end up understanding why they behave the way they do and I forgive them, see them as victims, and show them as much love as I can.
For improving the quality of your life, nothing will have a bigger effect that using unconditional love to your advantage! Thanks for reading!